this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
