Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
