Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
