What did we do last night that was yellow?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
