you're like a bully in the Christmas story
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
