i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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