ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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