she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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