The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
