similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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