Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
