Just mADE A PArabola og urine
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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