Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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