jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
