last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
my liver is dry heaving
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
