so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
