he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize