I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
