singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Quick, to the slutcave!
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
