Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
