it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
