actually, I'm a sock model
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
