ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
