we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
So much Jack, so little girl.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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