God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
