shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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