i think i have two assholes
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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