i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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