My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
