Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
