when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
you had me at cake vodka
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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