in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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