I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
