one might say we're banned from that church
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
