She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
