I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
