We're facebook friends in real life
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
