my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
