He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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