I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
