I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
