i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
