I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
