"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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