Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
