its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
