sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Randomize
