I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize