I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
