I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
