It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
