Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
