Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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