He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
