Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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