Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
