Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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