i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
