I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
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