She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
