I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
