Sponge bath it is.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Randomize
