I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
