Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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